Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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