he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
