I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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