Do vagina's smell?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's great music for shaving your balls
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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