hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
