im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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