if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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