so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
