You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
