lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
