just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
