she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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