everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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