there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
