You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
