There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
