You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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