i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
