You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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