My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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