shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
