Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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