I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
