He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
