I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
