Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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