woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
