I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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