I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize