How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
