what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
