Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
