I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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