how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
