Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
