Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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