I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
