Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
