6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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