would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
