Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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