Slut skills are useful in every country.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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