ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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