More tranny stories later!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
