that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i've created a new STD.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
