Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
