Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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