well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
