I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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