I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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