Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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