somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
