"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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