so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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