No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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