I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize