Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My ass is underappreciated
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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