What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
