Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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