just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize