bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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