i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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