It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
