Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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